[hardly here]
threads bare in the cold noon sun
curtains pulled
darkness surrounds
i know there’s more
i’ve seen it
hell, i even had it for a little while
but that’s old news
now i eat and walk with the dogs
and it’s just a different way of knowing
that what’s gone and what’s next doesn’t matter at all
but it doesn’t make it any easier
to want to stay.
*
[delight and damnation]
terms to be defined
wading thru the murkiness
of a hundred forevers and a thousand days
glimpses of blue sky momentarily
split the darkness here and there
i tend to be most content with the gray
a somewhat ‘happy’ medium
an acceptable middle ground
between the shit piling up
and all the fuckery still to come.
*
[faith beyond divinity]
falsified truth from storybooks
nails and crosses and all names in vain
we can be so much more than this
antiquated and petty rules about love and life
idolatry and worship need be outgrown
for the universe is a higher power than any god imagined
neither hating,
nor loving,
nor judging,
nor damning
simply being.
*
[chasing leads]
slight breeze
quickens the pulse
nothing of note
but another quiet storm kicking up
all let go
again and again
nauseated by the waves
spun thru the undertow
always giving up
forever giving in
but never willing
to turn my back on the heart.
*
[vow of intention]
encompassed
by a shared awareness
of each otherness
we agree to delve deeper
into the well and not-so-wellspring
of the chasms between
with a compassion worthy
of such precise and delicate souls
and to traverse
this strange new ground
on a parallel trajectory
toward the mindful construction
of better bridges to somewhat brighter destinations.
***
“The true and durable path into
and through experience involves
being true to your own solitude,
true to your own secret knowledge.”
- Seamus Heaney
Dispatches from the Suicide Hours of Immortality 